Tuesday, January 29, 2013

MiaGirl is 11 months old!

Today is Mia Girl's 11 Month birthday!!!! 
I cannot believe I will have a one year old next month. Its gone by so fast! 
Here are some facts about my Miagirl- 

She weighs a little over 16 pounds. 
She is 28 1/2 inches tall
She wears 6-9 month clothing 
Size 1 shoes
Size 3 diapers
Has 2 teeth, one ready to break through any day
Takes 2 naps
Will walk if she is holding on to her baby stroller/walker
Climbs up the stairs like a champ
loves food. any type of food. 
Sleeps 8 pm to 8:30 am
Can say "Hi" and "Dada" 
Waves hi
Gives high fives
Gives kisses
Signs milk, more, and starting to learn water
Still loves bathtime
Impossible to keep still at church
will mimic your voice if you sing "ahhh" 
She will take her teddy bear and hold it like a baby and pat its bum- no lie

I love this girl so much. She entertains me daily. Shes hilarious, and such a good girl. She loves attention and loves to be around others. 

I love you Mia! You are growing up so fast! 

Love, mommy

Monday, January 21, 2013

a post where I complain

some things have been on my mind lately and I am just gonna vent it out right here. warning:  please don't read or comment if you dont wanna read a venting post :) Its not a pleasant one. 

Pregnancy is HARD. Don't get me wrong. I love parts of it. I love finding out you are pregnant. Finding out the gender. Hearing the heartbeat. Seeing ultrasounds. Feeling the kicks. Seeing the cute baby bump. And I actually like the delivery. (at least Mia's I did). But I am telling you what- when you get as sick as I do, it's almost impossible NOT to complain and its almost impossible to remember the good things! 

Just imagine this: You wake up. Throw up. Usually its just dry heaving in the morning. Eat some food. Throw up again. Feel nauseated all day. Gag outloud when you are shopping or talking to someone out of the blue. Throw up in the car into a grocery bag on the freeway. Husband is gone all day at school in the morning, and work at night till 11:30 PM. You have to take care of a baby and change smelly poopy diapers in the midst of it all. Chase around a baby who never stops moving. EVER. all day.  Try doing the dishes, but throw up in the sink in the meantime. Then go to sleep, and start all over again the next day. Oh- and add taking 2 zofrans every 6 hours, and getting an IV once a week. Thats my life right now. No joke. I'm sure many of you can't even imagine it- because you most of you have never been that sick. Especially not the whole 9 months. 

I hate when people say "oh at least you are almost in the 2nd tri! You will feel better so soon!" Well, I doubt it. I was just as sick with Mia, the whole time. So I am not planning on feeling better any time soon. I dont feel like people understand how hard it is to be this sick. I hear people say "Oh I would give anything to be in your position right now to have a baby" and I totally get that. I am not saying I dont appreciate this baby and that I wouldnt give ANYTHING to be pregnant and have kids. Because I would. I would give anything. But Even if someone who previously couldnt get pregnant, got pregnant, and got this sick, there is no way they wouldn't complain. It wouldn't be on purpose, its just the way it is. Its HARD. It's rarely glamorous. 

I dont cook. I never put makeup on or do my hair. I try to clean, but even keeping up on that is hard. My number one priorety right now is Mia. Keeping her happy, and also being a good wife to Kevin. I use all my energy towards them, at sometimes I think I should be able to do it all. I had to go get an IV on thursday and I was really sleepy after from the medicine, so my mother in law offered to let Mia sleep over. I cried when I had to say goodbye to Mia because I felt like I was failing. I hate asking for help. I hate asking people to watch her or help clean or bring food- because most of them have a life and have been in the same situation and did it all just fine. I just cannot do it for some reason. I feel like I am failing. 

I hate how much Kevin is gone. Its so so hard. Sure, he isn't deployed. He isn't dead. He doesn't work Sundays. He doesnt have to travel out of town. But for my situation right now- its hard. It's MY trial. I hate when others say it could be worse or that I have it easy. People who have husbands in the army or military or whatever knew before they signed up that their husbands would possibly be deployed. Although they knew that, I am sure it doesn't make it harder to have them gone. I do feel bad sometimes complaining when I at least I know my husband gets to come sleep by me at night and others dont get that luxery. But for me and my situation, I am having a hard time with him gone from 9 am to midnight every day. And even though he's working so much, you would think we would have enough money to save and get by, but we are always so tight. Living pay check to pay check. 

On top of all of that, I just found out that one of my best friends has Hodgkins Lymphoma. That sucks. She's 27, has two little girls and has a long road of chemo and radiation ahead of her. Life just isn't fair. 

And then- lastly, some stupid girl wrote me a message on facebook that was the most hurtful thing I have receieved in a LONG time:  some things are really just things you don't announce in public. It really gets to some people when you complain of being sick everyday, especially when you should be thankful that Heavenly Father has blessed you with another child. I'm pregnant too and have been really sick with this, but I'm not complaining especially in public because it took me a while to get pregnant with this one and I'm just so grateful I get to be blessed with another child. Maybe try focusing on something positive for a change instead of how sick you are. It's cheesy when you post pictures of yourself sick in bed in public. It is also grotesque to post pictures of stretch marks in public. I have them too, but by heck I'm a tiger who has earned her stripes, but I don't need to show them to everybody. Also, how did your husband feel when you blogged about how he didn't want the baby with your first? And how would you explain that to Mia if she ever read that? Maybe you should pull your head out of your ass and maybe care about somebody else's feelings besides your own sometimes. I like you don't get me wrong I'm just giving you a little taste of your own outspokenness because I'm bullheaded and when somebody pisses me off, I'll let them know.

Well, to those people who agree with her, dont read my blog. Dont be my friend. I dont care. This person obviously doesn't know me and was obviously having issues with me for a long time. She said a lot of things that weren't true. I never said Kevin didn't want Mia. I said he didn't want a baby at the time, he wasn't ready. That doesnt mean that she isn't wrapped around his finger today, because she most certainly is. She doesnt know us or our life or our situation. She has no right to make judgements like that. 

I am just so sick of rude people saying things like that to me. Just let me be. I can write what I want on my blog and If I wanna complain, I will. 

Like I did today. Because I am just a tad bit mad today. 

At least I have a happy, smiley, loving lil baby girl to make me happy! She never lets me down. :) 

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

It's been a long time..

It's been a long time since I have really posted anything. The blog has been the least of my worries! 

Many things have been going on though, and I better update the world as well as document it for myself. 

As I wrote in a couple of posts ago, I am pregnant again. 

Monday, Dec. 3rd, I found out that we are going to be having another baby! Lets rewind a little...

At the beginning of September, Kevin and I were talking about how many kids we want and how long we wanted to wait in between kids. It surprised me so much when he said he was ready now, and that he wanted to continue to have kids and have them close together. If you don't remember, he wasn't quite excited about Mia at first when I told him I was pregnant. Haha. Not that he wasn't excited about HER- but just the thought of having a baby was scary. So, this is a huge change of opinion for him.

He continued to tell me that he wants our children close together so they are good friends and can play with eachother. Also, It will be hard for a few years, but fun when they all get older. We think its really important to be young parents and have energy for our children. So, we prayed about it, and quickly got the answer (like the next day) that we should have me get my IUD out and start trying. 

We were certain it would take another year like Mia did- but decided that if we got pregnant that month that we started trying that we would be OK with it. I was convinced it was going to be another year of trying. I didnt ever have a period after my IUD was out so I thought I better take a test at the beginning of November just to be sure. I wasn't surprised that it said negative, since I never had periods before Mia anyway. Then, thanksgiving break hit. And I started getting cramps. I was at my sisters house in Colorado and felt kinda sick. Certain foods were making me sick to my stomach. I thought maybe I was just getting sick, but then I realized all the symptoms I had were the SAME as the ones I had when I was first pregnant with Mia. Cramping, nausea, frequent urination... And I knew the day we left my sisters that I was pregnant. But I didnt say anything to Kevin about it. 

We came home, and I took another test. I had a few dollar store tests in my bathroom so I infact took two. And both said negative- with a SLIGHT positive line. So I really wasn't sure. Kevin said I wasn't, and that I needed to stop stressing about it. Well, my birthday weekend came, and our friends invited us to go to her cabin up in fairview. It was a blast- 4 wheeling, food, hot tub and pond swimming, games... AND a birthday cake for me! It was awesome. But, while there, I noticed I was really bothered and just emotional. I had no idea why I was so sad because I was having a wonderful time. I tried to hide it until I got in the shower after hot tubbing one night and I just sobbed. I then knew, again.. I had to be pregnant. I even told everyone, "Gosh! I am such a nutcase this weekend! I am so sensitive about everything, I know I am pregnant I just know it." Of course no one believed me and they all just laughed.. like good excuse. :) 

My doctor had previously told me when I got my IUD out that she wanted to see me in Dec. if I hadn't had a period by then. I guess 3 months without a period when trying to get pregnant isn't a good sign :) Plus, with all my background of not having any and not ovulating- she wanted to just do a check up. So, we get home Sunday (Dec. 2nd) and I remembered my doctors appointment was set for Wed, Dec. 5th for a check up. I told Kevin I wanted to take another test to be sure but he said to just wait for my doctor appointment since I would have to get a test there anyway. 

Well, Monday comes (the next day) and Ally came over. I told her all about it- and we decided to go to walmart and get an expensive test and see what it said! Sure enough, the line was DARK as night! I was totally pregnant! I screamed, cried a little, and that made Mia cry because I think she was scared at my reaction hahahaha. I was so happy. I called Kevin, and he was really excited too. But kinda laughed at the fact that I couldn't wait till I went to the doctor to take another test. So at this point, I am thinking, I have no idea how far along I am? Maybe just 3 or 4 weeks? Maybe 6 weeks? 

Wednesday, I went to the doctor and got a vaginal ultrasound. They couldn't see the baby yet, but I tested positive for being pregnant so the doctor thought I was 4 weeks along. I was to come back in 3 1/2 weeks (on Christmas Eve) to get another ultrasound to see how far along I really was. Sure enough, the sickness hit me that week- when I was 4 weeks along. I've been throwing up ever since. I've lost 11 pounds, and been on zofran and phenegran, and drinking tons of water and trying to eat every hour and its terrible. I wont lie, I have totally peed my pants while throwing up already (I know. gross.) and I am already showing, big. The funniest (and maybe most hurtful) question I get asked is if this baby was planned/an accident. Of COURSE the baby was planned. And even if it wasn't, I would still be happy and grateful. And, why do people have to ask questions like that? I know I am gonna get lots of people commenting (because I already have had a lot) about how hard its going to be and how crazy I am to do it close together... but we prayed about it, we knew it was the right thing, and Its ME Who is the mom, and ME and Kev who will be raising them, not anyone else :) 

So far, I have not been as tired. And I have not had a migraine since Christmas, when I got a blessing from my brother and Husband. Gotta love the priesthood! I have been able to get up, and go about my day, even though its been incredibly hard. I have a reason to get up- my little Mia! She makes it worth it. I have been blessed to have some great friends and family help take care of her when I need a nap or help with my dishes or a ride to the grocery store and I so appreciate everyone's help! At this time pregnant with Mia, I had already had two IV's- and this time around I haven't had any so far! I am able to keep down enough liquid to help me not get dehydrated. 

Mia loves little kids and I think she will adore her new sibling. I think its a boy, and Kevin thinks its a girl. We have now heard the heartbeat and saw a clear view of the little baby tadpole and the yolk sac. Doc says everything looks great. 

I am excited to start feeling the baby move. I sometimes think I have felt the baby move already but I know its early, since I am only 11 weeks along. and we are so looking forward to the END of this pregnancy... hahaha.. only 29 weeks away! :) 


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