Saturday, February 25, 2012

some cool songs I dig

here are some good songs i have been obsessing over lately. 

this first video, blows my mind at how well those two sound together. wow. two of my favorite artists coming together... pure love!

this song reminds me of my brother dave for some reason. its a super weird music video, but I love the song and his voice.

this one is just the coolest concept in the world. OK Go is freaking awesome. You will enjoy this video, I have no idea how they come up with these things.

and the last song, colorblind by leona lewis. I love it... so so so good. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

our love story {part 3}

Like I said, October, November, and the beginning of December were magical. (for lack of a better word.)

By December, it had been 6 months since our first date. We held hands and kissed, and Kevin would sometimes text me that he 'liked me alot alot' haha. We had this deal where we always texted eachother when we got home to say we got home safe and goodnight. That was always my favorite thing. I would save his cute texts for weeks and look at them every day. Everything was going really REALLY good. And that scared me. The 'L' word had not been said yet.. but I sure felt it for him. At the same time, I started feeling really guilty because my missionary was still writing me. He kept saying "I havent heard from you in a while... Hope you aren't married... don't send me an invite if you do get married... I still love you..." and so on and so forth. The thing I KNEW was that the missionary loved me. And that I loved him. And that I could see myself with him in the future. With Kevin, I knew I liked him. I knew I had fun with him. I knew he thought I was cute and liked me.. but love? I didn't know... I got super confused! I started to pray about my relationship with Kevin. In a way, I wanted my answer to be to break up with Kevin and just wait for the missionary. I didn't know if I could write off the missionary without breaking my own heart and of course his... I would pray every day but the answer never came. I was so conflicted.

One night, Kevin was snowboarding and would be home around 9pm. I told him I wanted to come over and talk that night after he got home. I think that made him a little nervous. I left my house way earlier than 9pm, and cried ALL the way to Provo, where I went and parked at the Provo Temple to just pray about my decision. I decided I would break up with him, and it made me so sad. I didn't know if that was the right answer, but because I didn't feel good about either decision, I felt like I had to make it up on my own. I then left to drive to Springville where he lived and cried all the way to his house.

This next part is hard to explain. I knew I was going to knock on the door, go in, and start talking to kevin and tell him that I wanted to break up. But, that is not what happened.

He opened the door, and this overwhelming feeling of love and certainty came over me. Certainty of being with Kevin. Certainty that he was supposed to be mine. The minute he opened the door, he could tell I had been crying, and I started to cry again. He put me in his arms and asked what was wrong. I simply said "Kev, I came here to break up with you, but I can't." He looked completely surprised, so he pulled me inside and we went to talk in his family room more privately. He held my hand and looked at me straight in the eye and asked me what was going on. I told him about the missionary. He knew about my missionary, just not how serious it was. I told him that I had been writing him for quite some time now and that him and I had discussed marriage and that we loved eachother and had lots of history. Kevin didn't realize how serious my relationship with said missionary was until now. I told Kevin I had prayed about what I should do, because if I knew the missionary loved me and I loved him, then it wasn't fair to drag Kevin along with it. I told Kevin that I had loved being with him but that I didn't know how strongly he felt about me and I just wasn't getting an answer. I again told him that I came there to break up with him because I didn't know where this was going...

 He interupted me, and said "But, what if I told you I loved you? Would that change things? Because I do love you. I am in love with you. I have wanted to tell you for a long time, but I have been too scared to tell you. I want to be with you. You are a woman I can see myself marrying. But I am so new to this dating thing and I just don't do well with sharing my feelings. I love you. I promise. Don't break up with me."

As he was telling me this, I felt a confirmation from the spirit telling me that this was the man I was going to marry. I needed to keep dating him. He was the right choice. What?! He just told me he loved me for the first time, and I am already telling myself that this is my future husband?! I just looked at him and cried. I finally said "You do? You really love me? Because I think I love you too..." and then, he pulled me close and kissed me. Trust me, this is as romantic as it gets. Hahahaha.

Ever since then, I have not had one doubt in my mind that I picked the right man for me and that he is my soul mate!

This is us at temple square later on in December. We both look silly, he was tickling me. I literally enjoyed every minute I had with him. We never fought, and he was kind, gentle, and loving towards me always. We were so in love. (still are) Everyone always asked us when we were getting married from the first date we even went on.. We just laughed thinking it would never happen... haha

This is us in St. George. I was on my way home from a Disney Land trip with my friends and we stayed in St. George for New Years. Kevin and his friends came down to stay with us and we played hide and go seek in the snow canyon caves. We matched that night, not intended! Haha. After not seeing him for 8 days, I knew when I saw him again that I could not live without him. I didn't know it was possible to miss someone so much! 

The next part of the story is fun too.

January 17th, 2009 came. This is the day my friend Camilla got married. I will never forget this day! I was one of her bride's maids and that whole day I thought about marriage. Kevin and I had never discussed marrying eachother or the topic of marriage at all even.

But that day, I dreamed of getting married. It made me happy, giddy, excited... and of course miss being with Kevin. That night, at the reception, Kevin came. We had a great time dancing around and celebrating with the happy couple. At the end of the night, Kevin wanted to go on a ride. We drove around and ended up at the Elk Ridge Golf Course looking over the valley. No, we did not go up there to park and makeout. Lol.

We were holding hands and looking out at the beautiful valley when he randomly said "I think I want to marry you." I think my heart stopped beating. How weird that my first thought of marrying Kevin was that day at the temple with Camilla, and his first words about it were that night too. Maybe he had been thinking about it for a while, but this was the first I heard! I smiled huge and said "Really?" He said "Yeah. I think we should get married. You know that I love you and I know that you love me... What are your thoughts?" We then talked a little about it, but decided to keep it a secret until we were more serious about it. I mean, it had only been a month since we had told eachother that we loved eachother. That night, I went to sleep with a smile on my face. I.Could.Be.Married. I. Could. Be. A. Mrs. Holy crap! I wanted to scream with joy in my pillow!! I think I did... 

Part 4 coming tomorrow.... :)

our love story {part 2}

*Ok, I realized I mixed up two of our dates in the last post, so this August one was actually before our Red Robin date.. So you might want to go back and re-read the last post. Sorry!*

After our movie in the park, it took a few weeks before he called me again. It seemed like 2 weeks was the norm for him..

August 2008
Now this one I remember the exact date. It was August 16th, 2008 and I had just gotten back from a campout my singles ward had. I was sunburnt, and laying in bed (it was about 9 pm) and trying to get some sleep. My hair was still wet from my shower and I was wearing pink sweat pants/capris and a white shirt. My phone rang, and it was Kevin!! Of course I sat up and answered it. He asked what I was doing, and told me to come over to Wendy's house. All of his family was celebrating someones birthday up at Wendys house and I guess they all wanted to meet me, and Kevin wanted to go on a walk. I first told him no, because I had no makeup on, and my hair was wet in a pony tail. He told me he didn't care and to just come over. I finally agreed to go over, so off I went! I was really nervous to meet his family, especially with the way I was looking! When I got there, his family was all eating cake and I felt so out of place. Haha. He gave me a short hug and asked if I wanted to go on a walk. I said yes (anything to get me out and not be embarassed). We walked down to the Elk Ridge park, and sat by a tree overlooking the valley. Luckily, there were some fireworks going on while we were sitting there out in the valley so we sat and watched. We still hadn't held hands yet, so I figured he was probably too shy to make the first move. So, I put my head on his shoulder. Shortly after, he grabbed my hand. His excuse was that his hands were cold, and I told him he could put them in my jacket with my hand to warm them up. ;) I tell you what, sparks were flying... When we walked home, he held my hand the entire time and he walked me right up to my front door and gave me a big hug. He asked if we could go out again. I said OF COURSE! :)

I decided I kind of needed to take matters into my own hands, because Kevin was a slow mover. I knew his birthday was coming up in a few days, so I made homemade oreos and showed up at his house without telling him and he was so surprised! We visited for about an hour then I left. He texted me thank you, and I texted him back jokingly that his birthday present was going to be a kiss but I wasn't sure he deserved it. He then texted back and said "oh boy that would have been nice, a birthday kiss!"

Finally at 2.5 weeks since our hand holding, he called and asked if he could take me to dinner and a movie. I said yes and we set up all the details. The date came  and we went to Red Robin for dinner. His friends showed up video taping us (thats a story for another day) and Kevin was so embarrassed! He made them leave and apologized to me a million times. I thought it was funny and really didn't mind. After dinner, we went to the dollar theater to see Indiana Jones. With every look I got at Kevin I was literally just crushing on him. Bad. I wanted to be with him more, know him more, kiss him already.. It was an attraction I never knew possible. I really didnt even think about missionary that night either. While in the movie, Kevin grabbed my hand. I really couldn't hide my smile. Our hands were touching and it just felt right! I never wanted to let go. That night, we held hands all in the car on the way home. Neither of us wanted to let go. When he walked me to my door at the end of the night, I had major butterflies. He leaned in to what I thought was a hug, so I moved my head to hug, but it was supposed to be a kiss.. woops! He ended up kissing my chin hahahaha. I laughed, and he grabbed my face, and said "let me try that again...." and BAM! most magical kiss in the world happened. I mean, tell me that does not sound like movie status right there!! It felt SO good to kiss him. It was so natural. There was no makeout, just a few long lingering lips only kisses. This was the night I realized I had to tell T that our casual dating would not be able to turn into anything real because I had strong feelings for someone else. (that someone else being Kevin.) I knew T had feelings for me and I really had no idea how Kevin felt, so it was a risk for me (seeing as for some reason I always feel more secure when I am dating someone.. lame I know) but I wanted to take that chance.

After our red robin date, two more weeks passed. I was starting to feel more like a 'back up plan' for him when he couldn't find other dates. Because, really, I was thinking about him every day, but wasn't hearing from him all but every two weeks or so.

Somewhere in September we started to hang out more often and text eachother. We went on a hike to the grotto...

 Later in the month we then went to a corn maze with his friends (the first time I met all his friends) and his ex girlfriend was even there! (that was horrid.) He held my hand like we were a thing, which was the first time in public we had really shown affection towards eachother. This is us the night of the corn maze. It was FREEZING!

With every time I hung out with him, I just wanted to be HIS and him to be MINE and it just wasn't clear what we were yet. We had been kissing each time we hung out since our first kiss and I wanted to be in a relationship. He wasn't making any sort of indication that we were together or what not, and I didn't want to be his booty call! We had certainly made out a few times by now and I just wasn't interested in that unless we were to be exclusive. So, the weekend of Conference in October, I made us have the DTR. "determine the relationship" It was simple. I sat down with him in his family room and just said "k, so I like you. and I like kissing you. and being with you. But I am not going to keep kissing you unless we are together. I just don't kiss guys I am not dating." All he did was grab my hand and say "so, you wanna be my girlfriend?" I smiled, said yes, and we shared a small kiss. After that, we never spoke about what we were, we just knew.

The months of October, November, and the beginning of December were magical. I never thought of my missionary (infact, I didnt even write him!) and I was truly happy. We went on tons of dates and I was falling SO hard.
At nightmare on 13th, October 24th
Carving pumpkins!!

on Halloween, he was a gangster, I was a flapper girl. This was at dinner at Brick Oven

I think this was in November. We went ice skating and to Gurus for dinner

I will post part 3 later today or tomorrow... This is where it starts to get EVEN BETTER!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

our love story {from HER side of the story} part one

I don't think I have ever shared our 'full' love story of how Kev and I came to be. I have been thinking about it alot lately and since today is Valentines Day, I figured I could remissness on our love story from the beginning. *this will be a long post...* I will try to break up the story in parts.

sometime in 2006 
It all started in Young Womens. I was a Laurel, and going to be turning 18 that year in December. I don't remember when this all took place exactly.. Kevin has a sister named Wendy. She happened to be serving in Young Womens in my ward and one day said "you need to date my little brother when he gets home from his mission!" When he came home I would be graduated and have a year of college (hair school) under my belt. He left in Jan. 2006 to Detroit, MI and would be returning Jan. 2008. I laughed, and joked with her that I would go on a date with him when he came home. I thought well, Wendy is just so fun and cool, I am sure her brother is cool too :) After that day, I never thought about it again. At the time I was dating someone from Elk Ridge that I worked with and I planned on sort of 'waiting' for him while he was on his mission. He still had a year before he was to go on his mission so I wasn't too worried about it. Like I said, I never thought about that conversation again...

this is what I looked like in 2006:

beginning of summer of 2008 
The guy I was dating had left on his mission and had been out for 8 or 9 months now. We had broken up before he left and had a little bit of drama in our relationship, so I told him I would not wait for him, but I hoped to be available when he came home. We wrote each other very often and I was almost convinced he was the person I was meant to marry. We wrote very seriously and loved eachother and he especially wanted to marry me when he got home. Although my feelings were really strong for him, I knew dating others while he was gone was important because If I did end up being around when said missionary got home, I wanted to make sure I did everything possible to make sure he would be 'the one' compared to other men I dated. So, this is where Kevin comes into the story...

this is what I looked like summer of 2008


Randomly, on a day in June 2008 (I can't remember the exact date sadly) I get a phone call from a number I don't recognize. I normally don't answer numbers I don't know, but I picked it up anyway. Here is conversation:

me: hello?
kevin: hi! this is Kevin Mohlman, Wendy Mohlman's brother. She gave me your number.
me: uh...Wendy who? (here I am trying to list all the Wendy's I know and I didn't know a wendy with that last name...
kevin: oh, Sorry, I mean Wendy McCarthy. I forget her married name. 
me: OOOOhhh... yea I know her! Sorry took me a minute there... (thinking- so her brother is off his mission! how funny that he is calling me!)
kevin: Ya.. so, I was wondering if I could take you out on a date sometime? My sister told me about you and I thought it would be fun if we could maybe double with Wendy and her husband Sean sometime. 
me: sure! I love wendy! 
kevin: great, well would you like to go this weekend? Maybe dinner and miniature golf?
me: ya that sounds really fun. 
kevin: ok, do you want to just meet me at her house on saturday at 5 and we can all go from there?
me: (thinking, um ok... he isn't going to pick me up?) sure sounds like a plan. (wendy's back yard practically links with my parents back yard so really it was no big deal to walk over there haha..)
kevin: ok sounds great, see you this weekend! thanks!
me: ya! see you soon. 

ok. so first thoughts. 1-I can't believe he really called. 2-why do I have butterflies when I don't even know him or what he looks like? 3-I like the sound of his voice.... 4-panic... maybe I am not ready for a blind date?! what about missionary??......

so as the week goes on, all I kept thinking is 'i dont know if I Can do this...'. I ended up texting him to cancel (I made up some horrible excuse to why I couldn't go) I remember feeling SOOOO guilty after I clicked send on the text.. but he texted back and said we could go another time.

a week goes by, and all I could think about was how bad I felt for canceling our date. It seemed unfair for me not to give him a chance. I was hoping he would call again, but really didn't think he would.

Surprise, he called! This time I made sure not to cancel. :)

So, now it's about mid-June when our first date came to be. I remember exactly what I was wearing. Light blue wash of jeans, and a pink blouse with ruffles on the front. I wore white and pink flowered flat shoes. :) I was so nervous I was shaking. I left the house early thinking it would be better to show up to Wendy's early and relax a little bit before he showed up. The back of her house is like diagonal from the back of my parents, so I went through our back yards. As I walked around the corner from behind Wendy's house, There was Kevin, getting out of his car (a shiny silver subaru) looking REALLY cute. I was pleasantly surprised. I stopped in my tracks before he could see me and almost turned around... I was literally thinking that he was way too cute for me. But, I kept walking. We met up half way through the driveway and the first thing I noticed was his GORGEOUS smile and eyes. I was so nervous so all I could do was put my hand out to shake his and introduce my self. I asked "so, are you Kevin?" um, DUH GILLIAN!! haha. Our hands touched to shake and it sent butterflies up my spine. We walked up to the front door together without saying much. Now if you know me, you know that I am very outgoing and talk alot- sometimes too much. Well, Kevin, as proved that night, was the complete opposite of me! He literally didn't say a word. We sat in the back of the FJ that Sean and Wendy drove as we went to dinner. It was mostly Wendy and I talking. It was a little awkward because how do you ask all these get to know you questions about someone you have never met before and are going on a date with, if his big sister is in the car? We went to Mi Rancharito and quickly I could tell this date was going to be a dud because he wasn't talking at all. It was at dinner that I decided that I was just going to have fun, be myself, and not be nervous. At this point I knew (or thought) he would never ask me out again because he was obviously not interested in me. I had fun catching up with Wendy and talked the dinner away with her. I kind of pretended Kevin wasn't there... At the end of dinner, Kevin went to go pay with Sean and Wendy said "I don't know why he is being so shy! Just give him time, he will warm up." Inside I really hoped he would, but seriously doubted it.

After we left dinner, Sean announced that we WERE going to go miniature golfing, but that their stove had broken down and he needed to go to home depot to get the part he needed to fix it. It needed to be fixed because I think they were having a family dinner there the next day. So, off to Provo we went, driving in semi silence (at least on Kevin's part). I really didn't mind that we were going to home depot because I wasn't trying to impress Kevin anymore. We walked around home depot for maybe 20 minutes, then hopped back in the FJ. Sean and Wendy suggested that we get icecream to take home and then go play some games at their house for the rest of the night. We agreed. When we went to Macey's to get the icecream, Kevin and I stayed in the car. We were finally alone! That is when he finally started talking to me. We had a good long conversation. I can't remember what it was about but I remember feeling better about our date and thinking that I was starting to crush on this guy... We got back to Elk Ridge and played on the Wii for a long time. That is when we really loosened up and started to have fun. I think mostly because Sean and Wendy were kind of doing their own thing (fixing the stove) while we were playing. At the end of the night, I was really crushing on Kevin and hoped he would offer to drive me home and walk me to the door. (Just so we could be alone.) Surprisingly, he did! He gave me a ride and in the car he said "i'm so sorry I was so quiet. It was just weird having my sister there. I would love to take you out again, just me and you if that's ok." Inside, I was literally screaming with joy, who knows why, but I calmly said "ya, I would like that. I had fun!" He walked me to the front door and gave me a HUGE hug. It literally sent shocks up my body. I dont know why but I had a permagrin after our date. He said he would call me to set up a date again soon, so I was hoping to hear from him in a few days.

I layed awake all night it seems like just replaying our date. I was totally myself the whole time, so that means I could continue to be myself since he seemed to like me enough to ask me out again! Haha. What silly thoughts I had...

A few days go by.

A week goes by.

Two weeks go by.

Ok, this boy is never going to call me again. I am not going to call or text him.. I am going to forget about it and just have fun. I kind of couldnt believe that he hadn't called me yet because he seemed so excited to take me out again. Oh well.

In the meantime, I had started hanging out with this guy I knew from High School that was a little older than me. We kinda started liking eachother, but Kevin was always on my mind! We started going on dates and hanging out more frequently and I didn't feel too guilty because I had only gone out with Kevin once.

July 2008 is now here. 
Surprise! He called me again! Oh how I leaped for joy when I saw his name on my cell calling. He asked me to come to an outdoor movie in Springville at the park with him. I thought- well, I love movies... and usually cuddling comes with movies.. haha, so of course I wanted to go. I told him yes, and I ended up driving out there to meet him at his house. We took some blankets and candy to go watch the movie and the WHOLE night, I was just waiting for him to hold my hand. I know, a little early to expect that, but I was so giddy about him for some reason! So giddy that I didnt even think about the missionary once during the night... Sadly, he never cuddled me or held my hand, but we still talked and flirted and got to know eachother more. I was falling FAST.

He didn't set up another date with me right off the bat that night but he did say he wanted to hang out again. Of course I said yes, and so after that night, I patiently waited for him to call.

One week goes by.

Two weeks go by.

What the heck? Why hasn't he called me yet?

Then guilt set in a little. Why was I thinking about Kevin so much when I was starting to date this other guy I knew from high school? The other guy (name shall be T for now) and I kissed and were casually dating and kissing every once in a while. I know, hussy status on my part... But, I wanted Kevin to call.

Part two coming tomorrow...

Sunday, February 12, 2012

gettin things done and a great weekend

I had a family/elk ridge friends baby shower yesterday that was AMAZING! I will post pictures once I get them from my sister in law. Meanwhile, I am busy sorting through everything I have for the baby now and getting things in order. I took a picture of a few of the things I have that I was given. 

First off, my sister in law Jen gave me this awesome carseat and made the carseat cover! Her little boy just turned a year old in November and has grown out of the carseat. So, she gave it to me. It's in really great condition and the carseat cover is SO Cute with it!!! Thank you so much Jess and Jen!


I finally made a bow holder for the baby's room. We already had all the supplies (even the frame which Kevin made at work a long time ago when he was at C.R) so this didn't cost me a penny! 

look at all those cute bows... 

I have lots of blankets now! I will have to take individual pictures of them all this week sometime because all of them are super cute. These are just hangin out in the crib for now till I get things all the way put away. 

Ally and I started making some tissue balls to hang above the crib. I love them! They are so cute. I will post a picture once I finish making the other ones and hang them all up. 

Rhonda Salcido, my childhood bestie's mom, made this amazing diaper bag for me. I LOVE IT! It's soooo cute and girly. I even filled it up already. :)

diapers, diaper wipe case, desitin, binkies, a nursing cover, a toy, a mini blanket thing, an extra onsie.. fun stuff. 

Here is my overflow of diaper supplies. All size newborn or 1. So, I do need some bigger sizes. But luckily we were given some money at my shower so that money will go towards diapers. 

Hopefully by the end of this week all her clothes will be washed, organized by size, hung up or folded and put away, the rest of the decorations I made will get put up in the room, and I can post pictures of it all. I just want to thank everyone SO much for giving us so many things to help us get started on this parenting journey. I can never thank you all enough. 

Besides baby things, Kev and I had a quick date last night. We had a gift card to wingers (thanks Kevin and Kylee!!) so we used that to eat with and then rented "real steel" from redbox. It was a really good movie! I fell asleep in his arms, awesomeness. I love spending time with him. He has been working so much the last few days and I really haven't seen much of him so it was nice to have a few hours together alone last night. Today, we put a roast in the crockpot before we left for church and then enjoyed a DELICIOUS roast, mashed potatoes, and carrots for dinner. It was so nice to have a home cooked meal... I don't do much of cooking lately. haha. I took a nap while Kev did some homework and then when I woke up we watched some funny youtube videos on the ellen show. 

This week is V-day, and Kevin has to work. But thats ok, because he doesn't have school that day and so we have all morning together till he goes into work at 3. Maybe I will make him breakfast in bed... ? 

More to come..

Friday, February 10, 2012

large and in charge!

super excited that I only have 4 weeks left... yay!!!!!! Can't wait to meet this babe. 

I attempted to take some pictures of myself.. they are silly but for documentation purposes, I want to remember how HUGE I got.. haha. 

also, freak, my hair got sooo much more curlier during this pregnancy. Yes, that is all natural curl, and no, I did not diffuse it or curl any pieces with a curling iron. 

yep, large and in charge. braxton hicks are occasionally turning into real contractions and I could be wrong but I think this baby is going to come early. She wants to at least. I get checked on Tuesday at my appointment, and then will go to the doc once a week up till delivery. It's going by SO fast, and I can't believe it!! So excited for her to get here. 

tomorrow is my family/elk ridge friends shower. I can't wait to see everyone. I hope after the shower I will feel prepared for her to get here... fingers crossed! 

Monday, February 6, 2012

some baby showers

I had two baby showers this last weekend, and will have one more this coming weekend. I feel so lucky to have such great friends and family who are so supportive and willing to help get me prepared for this little baby girl to come. 

The shower I had on Friday was thrown by Michele Thomas, Kenna Coyne. Justina Palfraymen, and Michelle Conover. They are all married to Kevin's friends, and I have become great friends with all of them through that. They are all such talented and kind girls and throw really fun parties!! 

This shower they threw was for my spanish fork/married friends. There were some people that didn't make it that made me a little sad because I would have loved to visit with them and honestly it would be a chance to visit with them since I don't get to see them alot, but I think about 16 or 17 people came so it was a pretty good turn out!! It was so fun seeing everyone! They had the theme of me being 'about to pop' and i'm telling you what- I do feel like it! The girls who threw the party made me this ADORABLE diaper cake and blanket and also sewed some cute designs on some onsies. 

I love the onsies! They have the chevron pattern on them, super cute. 

They did all kinds of popcorn. Caramel (to die for), normal, and a white chocolate covered one with m&m's.. soo good


they also made cake pops and had soda pop and these cute little candies that looked like beads- but they tasted like sixlets!

here was the table set up. 

They had balloons all over the place. 

I only took a few pictures with my camera, so when Michelle Conover gets the pictures to me from her camera I will post the rest. I did get a picture with my besties Makelle and Whitney. Makelle is 20 weeks pregnant with a girl, and Whitney just had her first baby girl 2 weeks ago. Um, hello- my friends are GORGEOUS! These are the girls I went to hair school with and I have stayed in close contact with them since. I am so happy we all had baby girls within the year together- all our kids will be the same grade in school! How crazy. I am excited for them both. 

This is Whitney's cute new baby girl- only two weeks old! Her name is Aleeah and she is SO perfect! I am just in love with her. Thanks Whit for coming even though you had just had a baby two weeks prior- you not only looked AMAZING but I am sure you were dead tired so it meant alot to me that you came. Love you girl!

The shower I had on Saturday was thrown by my other bestie Becca Evans! Oh I just love her. She was in my ward until they got rid of the married student wards and now she is in a different ward. boo. We have stayed close friends and she just lives down the street from me. This shower was for the people in my ward now and people in my previous ward. 

She decorated it so cute. I want those tissue balls to hang above the baby's crib, but I do not even want to attempt to make them haha. 

She also made a diaper cake, so cute! I love it!

She had like all my favorite treats- blow pops, lemonade, rice krispy treats, key lime pie, lemonade pie, tootsie rolls.. all the good sugar stuff! and yes, she made the pies from scratch!


I love that she put the drinks in mason jars, such a cute idea

here she is mixing up the drinks!

I just love becca, and appreciate her so much for throwing this shower for me! 

I didn't post pictures of things I got from either shower but I got lots of cute clothes! I will need to take a picture of some of them and post them. Thanks to all those who came and supported me! 

Some things I do not have yet that I will need to get are:
socks
bottles
binkies
a swing (which I dont really need I guess)
a diaper bag
burp cloths
bibs
and other sizes of diapers. I have only newborn sizes. 

I can't believe how close we are getting.. so excited! 5 more weeks. :)
 
now I am excited for my family/elk ridge ward shower this weekend on Saturday. Can't wait! 

Thursday, February 2, 2012

one of those sad depressing posts


everyone has bad days. today is not my day.

I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out.

I want to cry for hours.. and pretty sure this will happen today.

I obviously have issues and flaws and am no where near perfect.

I am also obviously extremely emotional today- and I am sure that pregnancy hormones have something to do with that.

I hurt peoples feelings without even realizing I am doing it. I guess we all do that sometimes but I feel like I do it more than usual.

Today I feel weak, defeated, and lonely. I feel sad, and tired, and depressed.

I have to cancel my hair appointment that is coming in tonight just because I can't keep it together. I don't want to pass on my saddness/bad mood to someone else.

It's one of those days where I don't want people around me. I just want to be alone. I don't think anyone could bring me out of this rut today.

I hate that I am so mis-understood. I hate that small communication errors and issues with others can make me feel so depressed as I do today.

Some will say I bring this on myself. That may be true. But it still doesn't make it easier.

I hate today.

maybe I deserve to feel this way sometimes.



the sad thing is, there are lots of people out there who feel the same way I do today. I hope their day doesn't last like this...

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