When Mia was first born, I snuggled her and napped with her right next to me. I snuggled her every chance I could get. I would just stare at her while she was sleeping- and be in awe at how beautiful she is and that I made something so perfect.
As she has gotten older, she doesn't sit still long enough to be snuggled very often. She naps on her own in her crib and never rests her head on my shoulders anymore. She used to let me rock her and snuggle her and sing to her before bed time, but now, she wants to put herself to sleep. She will fuss until I put her in her crib- then she will turn on her side, and immediately go to sleep on her own. Such a good little girl- but I do miss being able to snuggle her to sleep.
The other day, I was at my parents taking care of Ammon and I had just put him on the potty to have his bowels flushed. That takes an hour and a half- and usually its around the time Mia needs an afternoon nap. She NEVER naps at my parents.. She has a really hard time napping anywhere but her own crib. We have tried and tried to have her sleep in the pack and play other places but it just doesn't happen. Well, after I put Ammon on the potty, I was holding Mia. She was sooo tired, and rubbing her eyes, and fussing. I could tell she wanted to go to sleep. I had tried putting her in the pack and play but she wasn't having it. I decided to hold her tight and close to me and rock her in my parents recliner that rocks back and forth. Eventually, she rested her head on my shoulder and fell asleep. Normally I would have taken advantage of her falling asleep and put her in the pack and play and gone and done other things that needed to be done. But- this time- I just wanted to freeze time...
My baby has gotten so big. She crawls, and eats normal food, and laughs and plays with toys. She throws fits, she sits up, she loves to pet dogs. Shes not a tiny baby anymore. It hit me in that moment- and I had to relish in it. So, I held her. I rested my head on her head and loved every.single.minute of that nap. I stayed awake, just listening to her breathe and thinking about all the memories, challenges, and happiness the last 8 months has brought us. This girl is our world!
Kevin and I stay up at night talking and laughing about all the funny things she does. The grunts and growls she makes, the way she squeals when she sees an animal (mostly just dogs), and the way she grabs at every.single.thing. we eat. She just wants to grow up! But we just want to freeze time.
I love this Mia girl so dang much. More than I ever thought I could. My heart is full of gratitude for her tonight. I feel as though I am the luckiest person in the world right now. Not just to be a mom, but to be HER mom. Lucky me.