Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Thanks for making me feel like the worlds worst mom


so. I went to get probiotics today at good earth here in provo. WORST EXPERIENCE EVER. Here is what happened. I walked in and asked where their probiotics were. They showed me to a wellness counselor who could help me. She was an older lady, maybe in her late 50's. I told her I needed power, dairy free. She showed me where it was and I told her Thank you. I asked her how to use it and how often and how much and whatnot. She said "just follow the directions." um.. ok, but on the directions it doesnt say how often to do it. She never answered that question. I told her I appreciated her showing me where it was, and that I was excited to use it because I had a bunch of friends who swear by it. She then proceeded to tell me how it has 'flora' in it, which you can't get if your baby is delivered via c-section, and that only the vaginal way is the most natural way and most beneficial to the baby.. um ok. I then told her "this is our last resort- she's had so many tummy issues, poor baby! we are taking her to a GI specialist in two weeks.." and then she interrupted me and said "do NOT let him do anything or give her anything." I then said "well, we have to get this figured out. I had to stop breastfeeding (she gasped) and we've tried reflux medicine, and we are on a really expensive great formula (gasped again). She looked at me like I was the worst mom in the world, and then said "Well- thats where you went wrong. You shouldn't have stopped breastfeeding. Thats what she needs!" (as she is shaking her head in disbelief, no joke.) It made me SO mad- I said "Well, I did what I thought was best for my daughter and she seems to be happier on formula and because of her lactose sensitivity I don't feel guilty for stopping and doing whats best for her. Thanks for your help." then I walked away. I wanted to punch her in the face. WHY do people think its breastfeed or die?! Thanks for making me feel like a crappy mom lady. 

And don't worry, I cried when I got in the car. The funny thing is people judge when they dont know the whole situation- for instance, my milk supply was basically gone anyway, so she needed to be supplemented anyway. There wasn't much I could have done about that. And I breastfed for 4 months, that was a good try. I do not feel guilty for stopping, but In that instance, it brought back all the saddness and worries I had at the time for stopping and wondering how I would be judged or if it was the right thing to do. I KNOW it was the right thing for us, but it was not her right to tell me that I shouldn't have stopped breastfeeding! I called the manager in tears when I got home and told her I thought it was completely inappropriate that the lady was that opinionated and rude to me about that sensitive subject. The manager was so nice about it and told me she was going to do everything in her power to make this right for me. I was just so mad, I hate how judgy women are and how they think breastfeeding is liquid gold and how it's the only thing that makes your kid smart and how your kid will be sick the rest of their life if they weren't breastfed.. I want people who think that way to be punched in the face. There. I said it.

And dont get me wrong, breastfeeding is wonderful, and if it would have worked out better for us I would have loved to keep going, but NO ONE is going to make me feel guilty for quitting!

9 comments:

SewSara said...

Oh my goodness, my blood is BOILING for you! I would have been LIVID. So sorry you had to experience that. And ... I think that same lady offended me once, too! (or if it wasn't her, then there is another rude older lady who works there too!)

I went in once to get some liquid melatonin, which we give to our kids occasionally at bedtime. The lady was SUPER judgmental and was like "well *I* wouldn't give that to MY kids ... " and I was like, "ok well thanks I didn't come in here looking for a second opinion!"

ps - did you have a c-section?

Andrew and Alecia said...

That just made me mad. Why are people so judgmental? Yes breastfeeding is wonderful if you can and want to do it. But it's also just fine to give them formula. You are still giving your baby what they need. I'm glad you called the manager and complained because that was just so wrong of that lady to say things like that to you.

Melissa and Jeff said...

This made me so mad I read it to Jeff. Oh my goodness I want to go to the store and reprimand her lol. You handled it really well and good for you for calling! I completely am pro breastfeeding but obviously it wasn't an option for you and your baby! It bugs me because I was a formula baby and I am fine! My sister was only breastfed and she is the one is always sick so breastfeeding doesn't determine that!!! ugh This makes me so mad.

Alex and Becca said...

Hey you didn't quit girl! It was time to stop. Next time tell her to shove it. Haha love you.

Lokodi said...

First off, even if a woman CAN breastfeed, it's her choice whether or not she even wants to breastfeed. It's not a commandment "thou shalt breastfeed in order for your child to thrive". It's a decision only for the mother to make, no one else. Some women just don't want to breastfeed because it can be a little inconvenient or painful, and guess what? It's HER CHOICE! We are in no position to judge other mothers for their choices of what works for their family and what doesn't (of course unless there is abuse happening in the home).

I have three children and none of mine were breastfed. They all were in the 95 to 100% in height and weight when they were babies. So, no one can tell you babies that aren't breastfed don't thrive or aren't healthy. My kids are very rarely sick. Seriously, I can count on one hand how many times my kids have thrown up in their lives.

I'm glad you called the manager. They need to be aware of employees who are treating customers in such a way.

Just remember, you would do anything for your daughter and if you ever felt like something wasn't working for her, of course you would do what's best for her. That woman was clueless.

Lindsey

Michelle said...

People can be so rude and judgemental. As long as you know you've done whats best for your little girl thats all the validation you need. I'm glad you called and complained. People need to know when their employees aren't up to par.

Cooper & Amanda said...

I came across your blog and wanted you to know that I stopped breastfeeding my baby (same age as yours) after 4 WEEKS and I got so much crap for it...and it got me so mad but then I just made a change in myself that I was okay that I didn't breastfeed and now no matter what anyone says I am confident with my decision. You don't owe anybody any sort of explanation. That lady needs to be smacked, I agree. Even if you COULD breastfeed, no one says you have to. You go girl! Don't worry about it at all! In the end, no one really cares what you do with your baby, they all just want to hear themselves talk. :)

the hintons said...

You're an awesome mom Gill, people in there say stupid stuff all the time. When I was in esthetics school I would go in there to get oils and everytime one of the workers there made me feel bad for one reason or another. Sorry you had a bad experience, but I think you are doing great with Mia. Who is stinking adorable by the way!

Mike and Adrianne said...

Remember my post on facebook yesterday? People are stupid sometimes. That's all.

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