Tuesday, May 29, 2012

alot of tears, but alot of blessings


there has been lots of this in our house the last couple of weeks. 

tears.  

mia has had a bad couple of weeks, and has not felt well at all. she went from a cold, to a slight ear ache, to not eating at all, to a tummy ache, to a red throat, to loosing weight, to no naps, to wanting to be held all the time. she has been through alot these last few weeks, poor thing! 

these last few weeks have been trying for me- because I will say that so far until she has been sick, being a mom has been a piece of cake. mia is normally a really easy baby. she sleeps through the night, she ate really well, she took naps, she hardly ever cried.. so it was really easy. infact, when she was two months old, i would tell people, heck ya, I could easily do this again in less than a year. i would love to have more babies quick, because this has been so fun and easy! 

i still think it's fun. its kinda like playing house when you are a little kid. haha. 
and it for the most part has still been easy. 

but there have been a few days... a few days where i just don't know what to do. people have told me they would come watch mia to give me a break. but I don't need a break. it's not the crying that bothers me. it's the fact that she wont eat. the fact that i know she is STARVING from the sound of her cry, the cues she gives me, and the chomping on her binky- but no matter how hard i try to breastfeed or bottle feed, she does not want to eat. she eventually eats, and some eatings are OK for the most part. I would say 40% of her eatings are ok. but the other 60%... oh boy. it's a trying time for us both. 

I have tried so many different things. making sure the milk is warm, going on a lactose diet, giving her different formulas, only feeding her in dark quiet places so she can be calm, giving her gas drops, and taken her to the doctor three times now. 

in the course of 4 days, she lost 4 ounces. 

that's when they decided she probably was getting an ear infection, so they gave her some amoxacillen. 

over the course of that medicine so far, she has finally gained her weight back. She is now 10 pounds 8 ounces. 

we finally gave her a blessing the other night, after she had a crying fit for hours and wouldn't eat. 

now i am not too naive. i know babies just cry sometimes. i know babies can have colic. 

but, that's just not how mia has been so far. this fussiness has only just started the last two or three weeks, and its accompanied by not eating, and arching her back. 

i know it's all about trial and error. i feel like a million people have been wanting to help me by giving me their input on what they did or how their baby was, or to tell me how to stop worrying, but she is my baby, and i know what is best for her in the end. all i can do is hope that she will either get better, or that i will feel peace knowing that she isn't sick, she is just being a fussy baby. 

either way, it's been a trying time for me in the last 3 weeks. i guess you can call this time when i really got poured into motherhood, as everyone keeps telling me, haha. i would have to say the hardest part of being a mom is not knowing exactly what your child needs at all times. all i want to do is make sure she is healthy and happy. 

sometimes, i think, am i the only one who takes their baby to the doctor? who has problems with their baby not eating? who feels lost at times? not many others share the reality of life, but i do, because when i get to thinking, life is not perfect, nor is it a walk in the park 24-7. and if you pretend like it is, reality is gonna hit you like a ton of bricks one of these days. 

although it's been a little hard the last 3 weeks, i still have to say that i am still enjoying my time as a mom. in my opinion, there is no greater joy than being able to snuggle your baby when she is sad and making it all better- ending with a smile. she is my pride and joy, and my best friend. 

i can do this, because heavenly father blessed me with all this love for this baby girl. he blessed me with all the care in the world. he blessed me with patience with her. he blessed me with a mothers intuition. he blessed me with a supportive husband and family. and he blessed me with the most amazing gift of all, mia. 

i am blessed my friends, very blessed. 



2 comments:

McKell said...

It sucks when babies are sick because you cant very well talk then through it or tell them too toughen up. It is sad to watch them go through it.
Mack had colic and cried a lot because her belly hurt. I dont know if you have heard this yet but if mia acts like her belly hurts you could try using a hot pack- it breaks down the gas in their bellies and makes it easier for them to pass it. My grandma also told us to keep her away from fans (hard to do in the summer haha) because babies suck in the air too fast and that hurts their belies too? Also, lactose can stay in your system up to two weeks so if she does have a milk protein sensitivity you might just barely be seeing a difference starting this week. Good luck, mack is only 6.5 months old so feel like I was JUST there. Babies seem to get more durable around 3 or 4 months though so hopefully just a little longer and it will get easier again.

Megan Wynn Volnoff said...

Hang in there girl! Remember mommy knows best! You got it!

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