I have been asked alot how my emotions have been since I had little miss Mia. I think a lot of people were worried (including myself) that the postpartum depression was going to hit me hard... but I am happy to say it hasn't! Considering I have struggled with pretty bad depression for the last 5 years now, that's great news!
My whole pregnancy I worried that I wouldn't be happy when she came and I wouldn't enjoy the first part because I was worried I would be too depressed. I was worried I would cry every day. Be negative every day. Not get any sleep- which makes me more depressed and ornery. I was able to stay on my depression medicine all throughout my pregnancy because it was safe so I just prayed that it would still continue to work after she came. Everyone warned me how hard it was and how much sleep I would be missing out on, and how much they cry for no reason, and etc. In my situation, that has not been the case. Sure, I cried the first two weeks. Randomly. At dumb things like a sad commercial, or when Kevin left for work, or when I was laughing, laughs would turn into tears for no reason. Haha. But I don't consider that depression for me. Because not once was I thinking "I can't do this." or "What were we thinking?!" or "I just want to SLEEEEEP!" Or any bad thoughts about myself.
My prayers were heard and answered and Heavenly Father has blessed me with a good attitude and happiness. He has blessed me with a good baby that doesn't cry for hours on end. I think I got blessed with this sweet baby because He knew I could not handle a super colic-y baby.. haha. So moms that have dealt with that, know you are stronger than me. :) I am still on my depression medicine though, and probably will be on it for the rest of my life. But that's ok. I FEEL better. It truly helps. I feel like I have done such a big change emotionally in the last two years. I now am able to focus on others more than myself. I can see that I had problems in the past, and have accepted that I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, but now I am trying to be a better person, friend, mom, and wife. It's been a process. It's been a learning experience. Not everyone has understood. Not everyone thinks depression is real. (says the people who have never experienced it...) But I can't make people understand. I just am SO happy I am not in a depressed state right now at this time in my life because this baby needs all the love and happiness in the world!
I consider myself lucky. I feel truly blessed that this has been such a smooth transition for us. I have loved every minute of it. It's rewarding, it's fun, it makes me happy, it's HARD, it's easy, it's better than I thought it could have ever been.
I love being a mom. Best. Job. Ever.