Thursday, October 20, 2011

defeat

I feel so defeated today.

I feel like I am in this emotional rut that I just can't get out of.

Everyone seems to be telling me how I should live my life and what decisions to make {especially to do with the baby} and I just want to be happy.

Everyone seems to think its ok telling me I am too young to have a baby, life is over once you have kids, and that I am not prepared to be a mother. Who are you to judge? Do you really know me?

Why? Why do people tell me those things? Is it because they seriously don't think I will be a good mom, or - because they aren't good themselves?

I have felt nothing but peace, joy, and happiness- heck even ECSTATIC about this baby because this is what I have wanted for sooo long. Somehow Heavenly Father trusts me to be a mother of one of his perfect children. Sure, this pregnancy has been hard. Throwing up every day isn't quite the easiest thing in the world, but at least it re-assures me that there is still a baby there. But the joy I feel when I think about what this baby will look like, or act like, or grow up to be takes over anything hard.

I am the mother of this baby coming. and I decide what's best for her and our family. People don't get to tell me that life is over when kids come. Because to me, it's when a new CHAPTER begins. A continuing part of our life. No one can take that away from me.

I know it's in our human nature to give advice. I do it all the time. We all do it unknowingly. I know everyone means well. So, this is me breathing.... ... ... and letting it go.

6 comments:

Nichole Gaertner said...

Starting a family is between you, your husband, and the Lord. Anyone else can give advice; however it has no weight behind it. Be excited and amazed with this AWESOME opportunity to feel your little girl grow inside you. I too am pregnant with a daughter (my third child) and I am only 27. Becoming a mother was the BEST decision I have ever made. I have never felt so much love and responsibility in my life. It's true that there is an aspect of your life that gets left behind for awhile... but it doesn't end. Your life is yours and you alone can decide how you would like to lead it. :) I recently had a friend make a snide comment about how many children I already have vs. how many my husband and I would like. I just realize that she has different beliefs then I and is naive to what she doesn't understand, although it did offend me a little. Good luck and try to enjoy it as much as you can... it's hard to believe, but someday you will miss feeling her squirm within your abdomen. :P

Kira And James Morris said...

Don't take it too personally! People will always say things that offend ya!Seriously. I've had my own. For me its the opposite. "When are you going to have kids?". Someone will always say something, you just gotta bite your lip down and take with a grain of salt. You are a good person and you will be a great Mom! Don't sweat it. People can butt out.

PaigeE said...

When Maddox was a month and a half old I took him to a craft show and a lady told me he was too young to be out in the heat of summer. Guess what I said? "That is really none of your business." It felt good to stand up for MY son because I knew that if I really was doing something wrong I would get him out of that situation.
You would never do anything to hurt your baby or your family, right? If you know that then it's a little easier to let what other people say slide. Hang in there. Or just do what I did and stand up for yourself/punch them in the face. Solved! :)

The Thomas Family said...

I assure you that life does not end when you have a child. Things change for sure but definitely for the better. Morgan is that part of our life that we didn't know was missing. She has brought so much pure joy to T.C. and I. Being a mom is the greatest blessing and you will love it!

Jacob and Melanie Hopkinson said...

I TOTALLY understand. Out here it is really "crazy" that I am even married let alone pregnant at this age. I get some interesting comments. Just prove those crazy people wrong by being a fun, enthusiastic, young mom! I know, I know... I couldn't help but give you that little bit of advice! haha I for one am so excited for you! It's fun that I am right behind you! :)

Tessa and Joel said...

Don't you dare listen to one person!!!! This happened to me all the time when I was pregnant and it honestly still happens now that they see I am a parent. Just don't you listen to anyone. People would constantly say things to me about how young I was and how I haven't even been married that long and how I should raise Hadler and they still are telling me all the time how to raise Hadler, drives me crazy! Don't think twice about what people say and just remember that you are such a wonderful person and wife and you are going to be a fantastic mother!!! :) Don't worry about what people say or think. I know easier said then done, but really you just have to let it go in one ear and out the other because it's never going to end. I am here if you ever need to talk.

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