Tuesday, June 28, 2011

thanks {to my friends}

just a few thoughts for today. thought i would share some recent pics as well as some thank you shout outs to some people who have made a difference in my life this past week!

I cut my moms hair again a few weeks ago. we have been letting her gray grow out for a while, and I think it's a really pretty gray. I love it. 

I think my mom looks younger than she really is. She's 61- and I think she looks awesome!

 I love this cut on her. I think she looks so pretty. I love my mommy!

I've never had any patriotic decor so I made some little blocks a while ago. 

I also wanted to make a block with our temple on it with our names and wedding date. I printed the pic off of google, and modpodged it onto a block I painted white and distressed with black ink on the edges. 

I also got this kinda figured out decor wise... what do you think? I love the big star. 

I had my first experience with fondant this last week. My sister Adrianne was visiting and she asked me to help her make a cake for her little boy's birthday party. He wanted a star wars cake! here is the words I carved out.. haha!

heres the cute birthday boy with a koolaid stache. 

Here is the cake finished! I thought it looked awesome. It was fun to make with her! 

other than those few things, thanks so much for all the sweet comments regarding my weight loss journey. I really appreciate it. A friend called me tonight and said "I was so proud of you for posting that because when I read it I thought it was cool because you don't care what others think about you." 

I was really touched that she called me to tell me that. Shes an amazing friend {im talkin about chelsea salcido hansen} 

I guess that statement she made is true to some extent. 

I don't care if others hate me..
I don't care what people think about my blog..
I don't care if someone thinks i'm pretty or not..
or if i'm fat and they can't believe i wrote it on my blog..

but I do care when someone judges me because they don't know me,
or when they stop being my friend because they don't know how to deal with any issues but theirs,
or when people think my depression is a disease and if they are around me, they would catch it..

so yes, I still get sad that my best friend ditched me 5 months ago. 
I still get sad when people write mean things about my blog. 
I still get sad when people distance themselves from me. 

I know 5 months ago I was in a bad, bad place. but doesn't anyone believe in second chances? or forgiveness? what if I don't even know what I did wrong? How can you judge someone when they cant control the way life gets thrown at them? I guess that's a lesson for me to learn too.. 

but I just want to say I am thankful for the friends I have. Thanks to the friends that have stuck around and been there for me through the HARDEST trial of my life. No, the trial isn't over, it may never be over, but at least now, I feel supported. loved. and thought about. And now, I feel like I have the information and tools to help me figure out how to change those bad days into good ones. 

I have a few shoutouts for some people who have really made a difference in my life the last few weeks:
{please don't be offended if you were left out, because i still love you! unless you were talking bad about me or you don't have contact with me anymore because of decisions you made.. haha)

Thanks to kilee for bringing me cookies and having girl nights with me and riding the scooter. it made me feel like a kid again. thanks for being a good friend all the way back from 2nd grade! you are the most kind hearted person I know. 

Thanks to Chelsea Salcido Hansen for calling me tonight to catch up like old times. Thanks for always letting me share my deepest thoughts, and giving me advice in return. Thanks for helping me feel important. Thanks for always making me laugh- you are my funniest friend. Thanks for letting me toot while you were stretching my leg in ballet a long time ago. Thanks for laughing in ballet and getting us kicked out all the time. haha... :)

Thanks to my cousin nikki who came to get her hair done this week and gave me lots of wisdom about forgivness. Thanks for loving me and sharing your life story. it makes me feel trusted when you talk to me about life. Thanks for always randomly texting me to make sure I am doing well. I am so glad you are part of the family!

Thanks to Michelle Lindsley for 2nd chances. We used to hate eachother, until we got to know eachother, and I feel really grateful for you! you are so funny and I am sorry I didn't give you a chance sooner. girls and their dumb ways :) You are a GREAT friend and so spiritual. I love that. 

Thanks to Camilla for sending me a text yesterday saying I inspired her to workout. It had been a long time since we had texted eachother and I was really glad I could inspire and motivate you! I hate being so far away from you, but I think about you every single day, and I love you. you are so great at forgiving. 

thanks to my sister Adrianne for coming out to visit. I cried like a baby this morning after we said goodbye on the phone. sad that life has to go back to you being in CO and me being in UT. It was so fun being near eachother for a week and seeing you every day. I hope for us to someday be neighbors. I want to say thank you for always being honest with me and letting me cry for hours on end to you on the phone. you are my drug. haha. but really though, you always make me feel better. 

thats just a few to name for this week. I wish I could keep going. there are so many people who have made a difference in my life this week and who have been amazing, but that would take up pages and pages and PAGES! just know that i appreciate those of you who treat me so well and look past all my imperfections.  i decided I need to thank the people i love more often, so I am going to do this every week from now on. if you want to make the list, you better be nice to me this week. haha, jk. ;)  
(hopefully i can remember). 

i love real, true, relationships. the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad. The hard, the easy, the laughs and the cries! I am so grateful to have so many good friends in my life, and just because I lost one that meant a lot to me, doesn't mean I can't make new friends and continue to build those relationships. I think now I know that a real friendship includes having to say I am sorry and please for give me. It also includes accepting apologies and letting the other complain and vent. It means helping your friend through trials. It means loving unconditionally. It means learning to be nonjudgemental. it means being able to keep secrets. it means supporting eachother through everything. Maybe those were things my friend wasnt the best at or that I wasnt the best at, but I now know areas where I can improve and i am learning how to be a better friend. i am learning how to value others. i am learning that friends don't just come in your life by coincidence. it isn't by chance you meet someone. it's always part of the plan. i know my heavenly father wants me to be a good friend and to have good friends. maybe he made me loose a friend so i could learn to be a better friend. and now, that's ok. i can see that. i know my savior can and will be my best friend if I will let him, and if I will always confide in him. I hope you will too. 

I challenge you to write a thank you blog post or thank you cards to the people who made a difference in your life today, because not only will it make you feel better, but it will make their day. it will hopefully always continue in a pass in on manor. you have to let others serve and love you in order to not take away their opportunity to serve and love the lord. 

thanks again for the love and support of all of you. i. love. you. 

now off to bed. kev gets home in about 2 hours. maybe i can fall asleep before he gets home tonight?


Michelle said...

No hatred. Never hate. We just didn't know each other, silly. But i'm glad we are friends now, too!!!!!! :) You are so sweet. And thank you for your kind words!! I am thankful for 2nd chances, too. Let's play soon!!!

Dave and Tana said...

Your Mom's hair looks great. I love the cut and the natural color!!!
Wish you could be doing my hair still!

Alex and Becca said...

You're the cutest. You're mom looks sexyyyy!!! Can't wait to see you Friday!

Kira And James Morris said...

You are cute girl. You have a lot of qualities I wish I had. One in particular is being so crafty! I appreciate your honest posts.. I too think friends are not coincidence. All my friends help and build me up just as you do.. so in that sense even though we havent actually physically hung out You are my friend :) You challenged me.. So Hey.. Thanks Gillian- You rock!

Jess and Jen said...

Love the crafts and your mom's hair! I'm glad things are going well for you! -Jen

ashley.warner said...

love your moms hair!
and love the fondant!
you're one amazing lady!


Alyssa said...

I love how you cut grandma's hair, the cake is really cute. Here's a question for ya, how come my family blog or my blog isn't listed on your family list? I like your blog.

Chelsea said...

Alright. I'm officially in love with your blog.

It's really hard to look past negative things sometimes . . . but it sounds like you're handling it really well.

And holy crap. You are friggin' talented, girl! New follower.


Mike and Adrianne said...

I love the temple block. I'll have to steal it. I love you too...


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