Monday, November 1, 2010

Day 7- Who inspires me and why?

This one is easy.

Of course half of you would guess, that my biggest inspiration and person that has had the most impact on my life is my little brother Ammon.

For those of you reading this for the first time, Ammon has Spina Bifida. He has had 35 surgeries and most of them have been major. (you can read more about him on his blog- ammonsjourney.blogspot.com) Instead of complaining, he just smiles life through. You will never hear a mean thing out of his mouth. He has so much faith and such a big testimony and heart! Here are a few pictures of him. Most of them are sad pictures, but thats because when I see them, it reminds me how I need to be more like him, and just smile through trials.

This picture is me, Ammon, and my sister after Ammon came home from the Hospital after recieving a trach. He wanted to learn sign language because he couldn't really talk anymore. We tried not to cry each time we saw him, because we missed his little voice. But alas, he had a big smile on his face, like always.

Here is a picture of me next to him after he got the trach removed. (over a year later from the picture above.) It was so hard to see him in pain and laying there. 

Here he is a while after he recieved his Halo. His halo had about 20 pounds weighing him down so he could get as tall as he could before he got rods up his back. He had made a paper chain with my mom counting down the days till he got his halo out! Hes just smilin life away! 

His blog header. Shows all the things he likes. Jokes, chocolate, singing with the remote as the microphone, me (haha) BYU, and more.

When Ammon came home from the hospital after being there from July-late September!! We missed him so much! We made him a sign that said welcome home and he was just so happy to be home.

Ammon giving me loves when I stayed over night at the hospital with him! He is always giving people kisses, hugs, handshakes, smiles, jokes, and sweet love.

Ammon right after he got his halo.

Ammon after he got the halo out and got rods up his back. He lost all his blood, and had to get an entire body blood transfusion. This swollen face brought me to tears and reminded me that my life isn't so bad. 

He wrote- "I hurt inside, I love mom and dad. I want to hug the nurses. I want to sleep here someday." Even when he was in pain, he was thinking of other people and wanting to hug the people who were helping him out!

A small wave as he was waking up!

Me seeing my brother after he got the halo for the first time. I cried for hours after. I had to leave the room because I couldn't stop crying. I felt like he was my child, and I was feeling the pain. I felt so bad that he had to go through it. Sometimes I would ask, why was he chosen for that, and not me? I'd rather go through that than see someone else go through that. But I guess the answer is because he was much stronger than me in the before life and even now he is much stronger than me! I think handicapped kids were probably the most righteous  in the before life, and I think they chose to come here this way- maybe not chose- but willingly came.

Here is a picture of him this last month. He was all smiles on his birthday. Lovin life.

He recently told my mom that if they pass away before he does, he wants me and my husband to take him. Haha. I would love that! It would depend on where I was in life and where we lived because I would want to make sure we lived somewhere that he could get the best possible care. I bet my sisters would be better care takers than I would because they have had kids- but If it came down to it, I would love to do it. I always wanted to adopt a handicapped kid.  Ammon is now 15- and is the happiest kid I know.

Looking at these pictures is just a reminder of life. It's so fragile. I feel lucky to have working legs. I feel lucky to have no major health problems. Most of all, I feel lucky to have this little guy in my life. He is my best buddy. I often am close to tears each time I am around him because you can feel the spirit radiating around him. He is my joy. My pride. My inspiration. After all he has been through, I still can't believe he is just as happy as can be! Ammon, you are my HERO! The Lord loves you very much Ammon! I do too!

Ammon's Journey from Jess and Jen Clark on Vimeo.

Let this be an inspiration to us all, there is always someone with bigger trials and problems than we have. 

3 comments:

Mrs.Danielle.Warren said...

Wow, definitely inspiring! Love this post, seriously nearly brought tears to my eyes! And no, I don't do hair; I do facials & waxing!

Jana said...

You made me cry...thanks. It's great to be inspired by someone who sees life a little bit differently than we do. Ammon has a great big sister to love and care for him. One thing is certain, he knows he is very loved by you!

Niki and Nick Hendershot said...

Oh my goodness, Gillian! This post brought tears to my eyes! I can feel his sweet spirit just by seeing those pictures! What a truly sweet person! I think that the families of handicapped children are also pre-selected, because it takes a very special person to have such unconditional love and to be trusted by Heavenly Father with one of His most treasured children! You are such an amazing person, too! Wow, I am so inspired! Thank you for sharing! :)

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