Friday, April 2, 2010

My Shepherd Will Supply My Need

This week I have been overcome by the spirit for a few reasons. 

We have an amazing ward. We really do. I look forward to going to church every week. Everyone is friends and everyone is so welcoming. I have made many new friends in that ward and had experiences that I will never forget. The Relief Society President said something in her testimony in Relief Society on Sunday that made me think. She said "I know that all of you are here for a reason. It is not be coincidence that you are in this ward. We are all meant to be together and learn from eachother." Isn't that crazy? I guess only a Relief Society President could testify of that because I am sure she knows better than I.. but I thought that was cool. It's amazing to think that we are all here for a special purpose.

Sometimes when I think about that, it makes me crazy. It's like when we think about how there is no beginning or end- we will live forever. I just can't comprehend that. So when I think about how we all have a purpose here in this life, sometimes I just want to know what it is! I think about my brother Ammon and how many trials he has gone through- and no matter how positive or happy he is, he still gets the trials. They just keep coming. It makes me wonder what his purpose is. He came to this world perfect since he is handicapped. So obviously, he doesn't need to prove his worthiness to God. He must have some purpose to serve our family and his friends. I don't think a person could EVER forget Ammon if they met him. I can't wait for the day that Christ comes again and I can see Him heal Ammon- and see Ammon walk for the first time. Do you realize how amazing that will be?! Oh my goodness. I can't wait. I like to go back and read Ammon's blog- because of the spirit I feel from reading it. Even though it's sad, and hard to look at all of his pictures from his surgeries, I can't help but feel as though it was a miracle that the Lord saved our little Ammon and I can't help but feel enveloped in his love as I am reading the sweet comments and feeling the faith that we all had to get him through the hard times. I like to think that Ammon was sent here to teach me a lesson in faith and love. I remember he was getting a pic line and a new shunt the same day that I had to take my Cosmetology Practical Test. I was so nervous and when I talked to Ammon on the phone the day before the test/ surgery, he said "Gillian, I will say a prayer for you, if you promise to say a prayer for me. I know you will pass and that I will live and get better if we do that." I had tears rolling down my face as I agreed and promised to do as he said. Oh how our family was blessed to have him come into our life. The day he dies, I want to die too. Haha just kidding, but really, I never want to be without him! I feel very lucky that I was able to live at home and be so young when he was born because I got to grow up with him and take care of him unlike some of my other siblings that were out of the house by then. I think the reason being is that I needed to learn a few more lessons in faith and Ammon is the best teacher! My mom and dad must be super righteous to be trusted by God to take His child Ammon into their arms.

Another thing I have been thinking about this week is how fragile our life is. A boy from my high school died a few weeks ago and his older brother was really good friends with Dave (my brother.). He got in a car accident. The trax hit him.

He was in the car with 3 other people and he wanted to see if he could beat the trax even though the arms were down and the lights were flashing. He couldn't beat it, and it hit them killing him and someone in the back instantly. The other two were critically injured.

I didn't know him that well, but I knew his older brother Brady pretty good. Alex was in a few of my classes and was so funny. He was a tease. Everyone liked him. They are just the nicest boys. The biggest teddy bears. I don't know why he would be so careless and try to beat the train. But, I guess it was his time to do. It really is unfortunate. I think one of the things I am MOST grateful to know is that we can see our family again someday. I honestly don't know how non-LDS members get through a death. It would be so hard if someone I knew and loved died and I thought I would never see them again. Luckily, his family are active member of the LDS faith and know they will see him again. I think because of that, it comforts them a little more. Still, very sad for them and I am sorry for their loss. I will miss you Alex! You can read the whole story here: KSL NEWS.

As Easter is coming up, I just hope I remember all day through that "My cup with blessings overflows, Thine oil anoints my head." (from "My Shepherd Will Supply My Need" By the Mormon Tabernacle Choir). I know he blesses me with things daily. I feel so loved and feel as though I am a Child Of God. I know the Lord is my shepherd, and he will lead me home. I am so grateful that Christ died so that I might live. I know that my Redeemer lives, and will forever live.

I leave you with my favorite church song:

My Shepherd will supply my need:
Jehovah is His Name;
In pastures fresh He makes me feed,
Beside the living stream.
He brings my wandering spirit back
When I forsake His ways,
And leads me, for His mercy's sake,
In paths of truth and grace.
2. When I walk through the shades of death,
Thy presence is my stay;
A word of Thy supporting breath
Drives all my fears away.
Thy hand, in sight of all my foes,
Doth still my table spread;
My cup with blessings overflows,
Thine oil anoints my head.
3. The sure provisions of my God
Attend me all my days;
O may Thy house be my abode,
And all my work be praise!
There would I find a settled rest,
While others go and come;
No more a stranger, nor a guest,
But like a child at home.

Happy Easter. I love all of my family and friends so much and feel so blessed that you are all in my life, for I know you are all in my life for a reason. 


Tessa and Joel said...

That was a great post! I needed to hear something like that today so thank you so much! I like to think that your brother and all handicapped people are here for teach us to be more Christ like, like they already are and to bring some light and peace into this world! I have never been happier then when I worked in a school with people who had different handicaps. They have such an amazing, different spirit about them and I love them so much. Like you said they are already perfect so why are they are here? To help us become perfect :) But that's just what I think who really knows why they are here. I know to receive a body but I like to think they are here for us. Thanks so much for this wonderful post I loved it and it brightened my day! Your brother sounds amazing!

Ally Hawkins said...

Thank you for your post. You are an amazing girl Gillian. I am so blessed to have you in my life. Thanks for helping me and being there for me. You are an Ammon to me. Love you!

TidyMom said...

What a wonderful post!!

I hope you had a beautiful Easter!

Thanks for linking up to I'm Lovin' It! Hope to see you again this week!


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