Monday, January 4, 2010

What I learned living at home with a handicapped brother

No, Ammon didn't die, and no i'm not done learning, I just felt inspired to share some things I have been feeling these last few months about my amazing little brother Ammon.

If you don't already know, Ammon has spina bifida. You can read about it and him on his blog.

Here are the things I have learned from him: (These may not pertain to all handicapped children, but they do to Ammon.)
-It's ok to say I love you every 5 minutes. It still means the same thing 5 minutes later, he just really means it.
-Handicapped children need friends too. Not just family members who love them, but friends.
-Handicapped children are NOT here for themselves. They are here to test us. They are already perfect.
-Music can soothe their souls (and mine)
-They laugh when they toot because they cant feel it, but they can hear it hahaha
-They laugh so hard that they cant breathe- this is especially true for Ammon! He is so funny!
-It's ok to cry- not just when you are sad, but when you are scared. Ammon doesn't cry very much, but when he does, it means something. He isn't afraid to show his feelings.
-Having a handicapped child in your home can help you feel closer to the spirit. I feel like the veil is very thin on Ammon.
-If there was a handicapped child that was supposed to come down to earth, I would rather it be my baby than someone who has never experienced it or than someone who is scared of them. I have seen the way it has blessed my life to have someone like him in my family.
-They are not just children, they are angels in disguise.
-They are brave. Come what may to them, and they take it.
-They bring the siblings closer together. It mellows us all out
-Fighting in the home around them does not make them happy. As Ammon would say "I'm not part of this."
-Fighting takes away the spirit that comes with the child. Ammon always cries when we fight, therefore, it usually makes us feel bad and we stop. (sometimes. It should all the time because I hate to see him cry.)
-Handicapped children are usually more mature than we are.
-Handicapped children do not feel afraid to be themselves. Ammon can talk about disney movies and animation for hours and be as happy as a bee! He will never get tired of it.
-Handicapped children find joy in the little things of life. For Ammon, it's chocolate.
-They are SOCIAL BUTTERFLIES! This kid has more friends than anyone I know!
-They like to be hugged and loved and paid attention to.
-It's ok to love deeper and stronger.
-It's ok to talk about death to handicapped children because we know they will be saved
-It's not ok to talk bad about someone. It hurts their feelings because they feel like everyone is special just like them.
-Handicapped children are very close to the spirit and in Ammon's case, he reads the scriptures more than me sometimes. He is always wanting to learn more about the Gospel.
-Handicapped children need to be around people. NOT stuck in their room watching movies (although Ammon does like to do that..) But they need to be around people and interact.
-Handicapped children love babies.
-They feel loved and special when asked to do a simple task such as setting the table (when we complain)
-They are willing to try new things
-They aren't scared of life, even though it could easily be taken away from them any day.
-They are strong for their siblings- so we can make it through the trials
-Their faith is stronger than anyone's
-They bring a happiness that you can't always feel
-Their smile is contagious
-They now how to cheer anyone up at any time
-Their jokes are so dumb but the best ones I have ever heard in the world because they are made up
(For example, Ammon says "Knock Knock" whos there? "Orange" Orange who? "Orange Panties!" "Get it Gillian! Orange, Panties!" HaHa, that doesn't even make sense, but it gets my every time.
-They were sent here for a purpose
-And most of all, they love better than anyone else.

I love you Ammon-eggs and am SO glad you are my brother. I could not have made it this far without you. You know, you were sent here to inspire others and I think you have done that so far. (I'm sure you were sent here for many reasons, that is just one of them.) You inspire me to put on a smile every single day with all you have been through. I can't wait to see what's in store for you in the future here on earth and in heaven. You will be amazing in anything you do. I love you more than chocolate. I love you more than life it's self. I am so glad I live close to you and can see you lots. Thanks for being my sunshine.


Mike and Adrianne said...

I'm glad he is a part of our family too. I think he has influenced us all and we all love him!

The Thomas Family said...

Ok I'm bawling now. That is so sweet!

Gillian and Kevin Mohlman said...

Don't cry! It's supposed to be a happy post :) He brings joy into my life!

Sorena said...

Thank you for your post on my blog. I really appreciate what you said.
Actually, Lexi found this blog and told me to read what you wrote about Ammon. I think you were inspired to write this, partly because of me.
I read this on Monday, the day before I went to the hospital and Lexi and I both just cried and cried. A good cry, a comforted cry.
Thank you for your willingness to share your feelings.
I think that was part of my struggle about what I should pray for. I wouldn't want to miss out on an opportunity the Lord saw fit to give me. Ya know?
Thanks again. Sorena

Gillian and Kevin Mohlman said...

It's amazing how the spirit prompts us to say and do certain things. I am glad I was able to comfort you through my words. It's also amazing how the Lord answers our prayers in mysterious ways. I hope that answered yours.

I like to talk about Ammon a lot because it makes me happy. Even if you don't have a handicapped child Sorena, you will always remember this feeling and it's one of the greatest feelings in the world to know that Heavenly Father trusts us with his special children. Thanks for reading my blog. You should read Ammons. It's amazing. That kid is awesome!

Papa Doc said...

I am late reading this, but I am sure glad I did. I, too, am sure glad Ammon is with us. The day will come when we will stand side by side in the next world, and love every minute of it.

I am glad you are my daughter, too. I thing your thoughts really show a depth to your soul. Thank you so much.

Dad Clark


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